This may come as a surprise to some of you, but it is indeed hot outside. I know, trust me, I didn’t believe it either – and then I went outside at 8:30 A.M. this morning and died.
Something is dreadfully wrong with this weather, my brothers and sisters (family for just another week, praise the Lord, amen) – it simply isn’t natural, much like cockroaches, Twinkies and various other snack cakes made out of sponges.
And really, would someone mind filling me in on what in the hell is a smog alert? In Chicago, we have wind – I assume "smog" may be a Southern term for wind? Or does it perhaps refer to that nasty gray blanket that may have well come from your grandmother’s attic that appears to have substituted the clouds and blue stuff?
I don’t actually care, but I know that it makes me hot (in every sense of the word) and rather angry to boot.
Anyway, to get to the little substance that this blog will have: in my quest to not die in the heat, I was browsing through some releases and happened across a little tidbit of information on CNN.com just a few minutes ago. Apparently, an earthquake with the magnitude of 7.5 on the Richter scale has just hit, “the Indonesian island of Java, shaking tower blocks in the capital of Jakarta and causing people to run from their homes in panic. There were no immediate reports of casualties or major damage from the quake…”
So, this is how I like to think of the heat: it may be hot, but it’s not a 7.5-massive-building-crumbling-behemoth-of-an-earthquake. Does this make me a bad person for drawing this conclusion? Yes. But that’s all right. Mainly because I'm pretty sure I'd prefer the rampant chaos to your goddamn "smog."
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